AlmostPorn.net

St Louis Pirate Fest

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:27:00 GMT

The St. Louis Pirate Fest runs weekends from September 13 - September 28.
So get your Pirate on, and come help us find a large chest and some nice booty. AAARRRRR!

Go to the website for a coupon

Jamie Hammer's chest cushions

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:19:00 GMT

Webcam Wangers

See more like this on kontraband.com

Jamie Hammer's chest cushions

A sample of what you missed in her first webcast. She has enough to keep a boobie sexual very happy.

Jamie Hammer showing her loveliness

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:18:00 GMT

Hammer Time !

See more like this on kontraband.com

Jamie Hammer showing her loveliness

Jamie Hammer showing us why she is a webcam goddess by getting us to ask "Who's your Daddy?". But why the hell are you reading this when you should be watching her?

Jamie Hammer Webcam Wannabe Wonderfulness

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:17:00 GMT

Webcam Wannabe Wonderfulness

See more like this on kontraband.com

Jamie Hammer Webcam Wannabe Wonderfulness

A hot girl stripping. It is the reason we love the internet.

Jamie Hammer Bouncy As Ever

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:15:00 GMT

Webcam Wannabe Wonderfulness 4

See more like this on kontraband.com

Jamie Hammer Bouncy As Ever

She is big & bouncy, and in no way shy about showing us her sexy body.

Is this her talent?

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:14:00 GMT

This would be AlmostPorn if it wasn't that she's doing it on purpose.

Is this her talent?

If so it is an OK one. By the way, this is Carmen from CamWithHer. They seem to specialize in doing this.

How To Apply Massage Oil

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:13:00 GMT

How To Apply Massage Oil

Kate applies massage oil to her sexy body, but I understand that she is seeking help with rubbing down her backside.

Hound Dogs - I Like Girls

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:12:00 GMT

Hound Dogs - I Like Girls

Just shows that whatever you like is what you like. Even if it is a GILF.
Or a Furry. Some folks like them. No, really they do.

Hot Girl Striping

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:10:00 GMT

Hot Girls Stripping

Hot Girl Striping

Is there more we really need to say?
And the song is wrong. Good girls act just like this. Bad girls are the one that don't.

Hot Girl For Hot Dance

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:09:00 GMT

Free Video Hosting

Hot Girl For Hot Dance

Just another one of the hotties from camwithher looking all sexy like.

Hitomi's Pole Dance Practice

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:07:00 GMT

This shows why so many of the actors in Hollywood are scared by CGI.
Within 10 years they will be able to fill a bar scene with a thousand busty topless women. And if a scene calls for a little girl-on-girl action, the programmers will line up to code it.

Head Bobbing Girl

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:06:00 GMT

Tempting Korean Girl

Head Bobbing Girl

Watch as she takes it all into her mouth. She even channels Paris Hilton for a second there as she stops to answer the phone.

Hawaiian Beach Babe

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:04:00 GMT

Sexy Babe!

Hawaiian Beach Babe

Wet babe in bikini posing on a Hawaiian beach. She's almost naked which makes it almostporn.

Give him wood this Valentine

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:02:00 GMT

Give him wood this Valentine

I love it when a woman gives me wood! What about you?

Geida gets sexy in her room

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 04:59:00 GMT

Geida dances alone in her Room

Geida dances alone

Geida dances like she's full of ball bearings. Ooorraaah!

Girl On Girl Lapdance

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 04:58:00 GMT

Girl On Girl Lapdance

I think the busty blond in this video is Puma Swede.
What do you think?

Fishnets and Stars

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 04:20:00 GMT

Fishnets and Stars

It is almost like what they have hanging on the wall at Long John Silver's... but a lot more fun to look at.

A Fairy Tale That Became True

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:44:00 GMT

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy "Will you marry me?"

The guy said, "No."

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook and farted whenever she wanted.

The end

A woman has needs

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:44:00 GMT

I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly.

I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft.

If you would do this for me no one would ever know.

I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would.

I am very desperate and I need your help.

You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very dry.

I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so..

Do you have a piece of gum?

Beware Cheap Copies

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:44:00 GMT

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look or him.

He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the R, we missed the R".

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "After all these years..... the word was Celebrate ............"